When I arrived and Mom saw me she threw her arms around me and had a very joyous attitude! It was so great to see. No tears, in fact there were no tears my entire visit! She was upbeat and talkative. Nothing that I understood, but she was talking about it nonetheless! We sat on the couch and she continued to talk about whatever it was she was thinking about and I’m sure it would have made sense had I been inside her mind. I just nodded and said yes a few times, but she was, dare I say it, happy. Or at least not unhappy in her demeanor.
Now, for the grogginess. Suzy spoke to Mom on Wednesday and Mom was barely able to speak, she seemed so drugged. I was aware that the psychiatrist had increased her depakote and Suzy said the therapist said he had also increased her Aricept which is the Alzheimer’s medicine. When I called Mom, she went on and on about everything and nothing, really, until I had to end the call because she had the phone on the wrong ear and didn’t hear anything I was saying.
Today while visiting, I spoke to the nurse and the therapist about this grogginess. They both agreed that they don’t want her groggy but need to watch for a few days after beginning a new med to see what tweaking is needed. The nurse said her depakote dosage of 250mg 2x/day is a very low dose. And it may be that they need to back it off a bit if the ‘drunkenness’ continues. I do have to say, though, that her spirits were better and if we can continue along this path without her sleepy/groggy state it could be the cocktail we’ve been searching for.
Having researched the drug depakote when I found out they had given it to her I found that it can have some severe liver complications associated with its use. It is not a probable thing but a possibility that we need to watch for. I asked them if they have been doing blood work to watch for this and they both said yes, the she is being tested and when they looked in her file found that her liver labs have all been good.
I also asked them why the doctor hadn’t contacted any of the family members and was told that he usually leaves the updating to the nurses and therapists. I asked that a note be sent to him to please call me and she said she would leave him one.
I almost had a commanded audience as at one point I had the nurse, the med nurse and her therapist all at the window discussing Mom’s care, with Mom standing with me smiling and telling all of them they would go to heaven. The meds nurse has taken a special interest in Mom, maybe because she’s so young compared to others. Maybe because she’s seen a fun side of Mom and has commented on that or maybe because she’d love to find the right cocktail that brings Mom into a peaceful place. I don’t know but think the care she is receiving is good.
I am happy enough with her med changes. I am very glad they saw fit to put her back on her Alzheimer’s medicine. Her maintenance doctor at her assisted living community had removed her from it saying it was causing her to become agitated. I disagreed with it the 2 times they removed it. So I am happy about the addition back to it. They took her off the Seraquel and put her on Zoloft. I have heard good things about this drug for mood elevation and both the nurse and I have seen improvement in her mood. Especially today. They added Abilify which she has previously been on before coming to her new living arrangement. And the depakote which seems to be the source of the grogginess. So I’ll watch this and if all these meds continue to make improvements to Mom’s psyche, then I am all for them keeping her a bit longer for her overall mental status.
The meds nurse did say that Mom has been a bit aggressive the last 2-3 days. Interestingly the same timeframe that her Aricept was increased to the highest 23mg level and then the depakote. I asked them to mention to the doctor that this coincided with her aggressiveness to see if there is a correlation. Her aggressiveness consists of pushing patients’ wheelchairs when they don’t want her to, entering other’s rooms and removing items, kicking at the staff and trying to pick up a chair to throw it. She said that while it’s okay for her to do that there, it is not okay for her to do that back at her home so they want to address those issues as well and work that into the meds merry-go-round. I asked about schizophrenic meds that control aggression and was told that’s what the depakote and another pill was supposed to work for that, so again, we’re in a waiting period for the meds to work or not. So more tweaking.
Her glasses are still missing. I asked about them again today. I am loathe to take the new glasses we just bought from her eye exam for fear they’ll be lost too, so for right now, it is what it is with her glasses. I WILL asked about our recourse if they are not located. But later. Suzy called her ear doctor to ask about replacing her missing hearing aid that is somewhere at her home-we hope-and I have not heard back from her as to whether or not he’s called her back. Our hope is that we can replace just one since they are so expensive. We have looked several times and alerted the staff at her home that it is missing.
As far as my visit. Mom was relaxed and talkative. About what I can’t know. But she was full of information and talked for a long while. Several times I would stroke her hair or move her bangs from her eyes and she would ask me if her hair looked awful. I told her it looked great! It was clean and soft. We spoke about her old hair color and she said “it was never red, red really.” And I said “no, more like a strawberry” and she agreed. Her clothes were clean and she looked good.
I found myself just looking at her. And a few times I pulled her close just to hug her. I made sure my head was to the side of her good ear and whispered several times how much I love her. It was so good to just hug her. Probably because she wasn’t crying. It was like a real hug. From long ago.
I’ve heard this story about an elderly man who was on his way to see his wife, who was suffering from Alzheimer’s, for lunch as he did every day even though she no longer remembered who he was. When asked why he went every day when she didn’t remember him, he replied “she may not know who I am, but I know who she is.” Mom may not know who I am all of the time. Or get my name right. But she knows me. My face. The fact that she belongs to me and I belong to her. Nothing else matters except that we are connected. Her reality is not our reality anymore. But it is real when we are together. Today’s visit ended up being a gift for me rather than a gift for Mom. She won’t remember I was there, but I remember that today she didn’t cry. Today I saw joy on her face. And she was proud to tell the nurses that I was hers. I was blessed today.
I don’t know how long she will be there, but I think we’re on a better course than we have been the last couple of months. We will all do all that we can each do.
I feel uplifted by my visit today. I hope our prayers are being answered.
Love to all,
Lo
