I honor you, my sister, my friend!

 

I've been thinking about my sister a lot lately.  Especially now that I have taken on the role of primary caretaker for my mom by virtue of being the closest in vicinity.  My sister has given our mother, and Mom's entire family really, such a wonderful and profound gift!  I must honor her for her selflessness these past 5 years as she lovingly and dutifully cared for Mom. 

It began as a journey the 2 of them could share.  My sister was about to deliver her 4th child.  A baby girl to add to her brood of 3 boys.  And those boys are all boy!  A sweet baby girl to add to the mix!  We were all so excited and Mom especially, for now she could fulfill her dream of being a stay-at-home-nana.  Mom would retire and move to Oklahoma and live with my sister and tend to the baby as my sister returned to work.





Nana

It was a good plan.  But as the old adage goes, just tell God your plans..... My precious niece was born and everything was good.  It was fabulous, actually.  Mom was in love.  She always did love babies.  I think that age was her favorite.  Tiny, innocent and so fresh to the world.  For about 2 years, maybe 3, my mom would dote on the baby.  But, when my niece turned 3, we noticed subtle changes in Mom's demeanor.

She always seemed so sad.  We wondered how someone could be so sad when she had what she had always said she wanted.  We encouraged her to seek out friendships at the Senior Center, to volunteer at the hospital rocking newborns, to join a bible study at the church, to get out and go to the library.  Anything to get her out of the house and her routine of child care and her room.  She never did.  Nothing appealed to her.  So, as my niece required less care, Mom stayed in her room more.

My sister was such a champion!  She urged Mom on countless occasions to become more active.  She spent innumerable hours taking Mom to the doctor, to the store, to the pharmacy, to wherever.  At any point in time Mom was seeing up to 6 doctors.  And my sister took her to every appointment.  And then there were the meds.  How my sister kept track of when and how much and when to refill is a mystery to me.  As I have taken over that role (on a much, much smaller scale as her memory care facility now handles it) I stand in awe of how much of my sister's life revolved around our mother.

The very rapid descent happened about now.  More doctors to see as my siblings and I joined in, now very concerned, pursuing whatever illness we could hope it would be other than the BIG 'A'.

So today, I honor you Suzy.  For your constant care of Mom.  Your undying loyalty to her through her divorce, her breast cancer, her retirement, her broken arm, her heart stent, her loss of hearing, her depression and finally her Alzheimer's.  For opening your home and your heart to her.  For your unfailing devotion to her as it became harder to care for her and finally its affect on your family.  I honor you for honoring the rest of us.  I find myself feeling those same feelings you felt, and I hear you say to me the same things I said to you to comfort you, as I begin my journey with Mom.

I love you so much and I honor you,

Love, Lo